hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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