Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
don't judge my taste in strippers
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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