Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
