we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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