Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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