I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
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