I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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