I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
