I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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