I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
