So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize
