Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
MIDGETS
????
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
