hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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