belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
