At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
