I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
