There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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