im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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