I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
