Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
