I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
how does that bad decision feel?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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