My girlfriend figured out who you are.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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