my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
