One girl and one boy is just not enough.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
