dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
