So drunk, too bad you don't want this
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
