In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
We left the knife in your bed.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
