i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
