So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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