APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
