8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
You pole danced in your parka.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
