I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
