Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
