With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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