I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
