we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
