Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
