oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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