My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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