I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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