Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
