and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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