I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
