It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
