I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
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