You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
