Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
