Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
