The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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