I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
