either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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