I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
