my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
