Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
