Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Use "feeling words"
Yay
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
